Day 6, 9 AM - 10 AM (Episode 4)

- Buchanan announces "We have to do better than we're doing and we have to do it faster!" It's taken this long for him to realize this? CTU might be the worst-run government office in history, and that's saying a lot. Maybe if they were to have more than 3 competent analysts and 1 decent field agent, they'd be in better shape.

- Jack and Curtis are having their standoff after the President asks Jack to be in charge, and Assad walks up with a busted PDA, saying, "they found this". To this point, they've been treating Assad like a suspect - now they're going to give him some evidence to take to Jack instead of taking it to him themselves?

- Once again, Assad is extremely trusting, given that Jack couldn't even keep his promise regarding how CTU would treat Assad. If Assad's not up to something bigger, he's the most altruistic ex-terrorist I've ever seen.

- Fayed calls Ahmed a new recruit, but trustworthy. This is apparently one of the biggest, most complex terrorist operations in history, and Fayed's entrusting it to a teenager?

- Ahmed answers the phone immediately again, this time when Scott's dad (Ray) is calling from a pay phone, clearly a number that Ahmed won't recognize. I'm sure he's pretty desperate at this point, but what happens when someone else calls? Why doesn't he make Scott or Scott's mom answer the phone?

- Boy, it's a good thing there was some spare change in the coin return in the pay phone Ray uses to call Ahmed. This is his second call from that phone, by the way - we're to assume there was two calls worth of change in the coin return?

- Milo complains to Morris that the data is in tab-delimited format instead of "tables". He can't just use Excel to convert the files? Even I know it can do that, and I don't work for CTU!

- Back in Season 2, pardons were huge things to grant, even to a relatively minor criminal like Nina. Now, the President is willing to grant a full pardon to a well-known terrorist like Assad, based solely on a 5-minute conversation with the ambassador from an unnamed country. Why is this even valuable to Assad in the first place? If he wanted a pardon before doing business with the US, then he would have asked for it earlier. But it seems much more likely that he doesn't really care, possibly because he's planning on screwing the US over in the end anyways.

- Furthermore, while it might be possible that Assad's being so helpful in order to curry the favor of the US, why is this the first they've heard of it? His back's not against the wall, and I have no idea why the President would take Assad's promise of working towards peace as worth anything.

- Immediately after approving Assad's pardon, the President has a discussion with his advisors (what the hell is Tom Maddox, anyways? Chief of Staff?) about how to spin it to the public. Of all of the things they're worried about now, is this really urgent? What about addressing the public about the 3 simultaneous bombings that happened a couple hours ago?

- I thought there was only one suitcase nuke from Russia? Now there are five? I suppose they'll clear that up in future episodes...

Day 6, 8 AM - 9 AM (Episode 3)

- Fayed calls the President directly, and the President calls him "Fayed", and tells him that he shouldn't be trusted because he lied about Assad. It's obvious to us how the President knows that Fayed is behind everything - Jack told him, and the intercepted phone call in the last hour confirmed this. But how does Fayed, who doesn't seem shocked at all at the President's knowledge, expect the President to know this? From all he knows, the US believes that he's given the US Assad's location in exchange for Bauer, not that he's behind everything. Nothing that's happened since he captured Bauer should change this. Yet not only does Fayed talk as if the President should already know he's the mastermind, the President makes no effort to hide this information, either. It is possible that Fayed assumes Jack went directly to the President after they stopped chasing him, but at the very least the President should feign ignorance, since it might come in handy later.

- Politics minute: Everyone's up in arms over Fayed's demands that the "Freedom fighters" in Palmdale be released. Karen Hayes talks about them as "extremely dangerous terrorists". But if they're anything like the people in the real world who are being kept at Guantanamo or some of our other detention facilities, none of them have been convicted of anything, and our government refuses to provide them a fair trial, presumably because they don't have any real evidence to convict them. It's certainly possible that some of these people are actually dangerous, but many of them have been people we picked up erroneously and refuse to allow to challenge their detention. Just remember that calling someone a "terrorist" doesn't make it so. See, in America, you're supposed to be innocent until proven guilty. Sorry about that interlude - back to fun stuff now!

- As mentioned last episode, Assad seems to be willing to risk a lot - imprisonment, death - in order to capture Fayed. This makes no sense. He may have a lot invested in his political movement that he's trying to make legitimate, but it certainly would be a lot more prudent for him to run away and live to fight, or negotiate, another day. My guess is he bites it in the next few episodes.

- Jack was awfully careless when he intentionally crashed into Fayed's man's car. He hit him in the driver's door, and if he kills or maims him, then the gig's up. Maybe he's out of practice?

- After getting his car wrecked, Fayed's man just hops in the car with Assad? He doesn't even see if his car still works? He doesn't call Fayed to let him know what's up? Pretty inept henchman.

- When Fayed's man gets to the storage facility and gets in a gunfight with the CTU dudes (who give away their position accidentally - pretty shoddy work for what must be one of their highest importance missions ever), they seem to have no problem at indiscriminately shooting back, even though the gunman is surrounded by tons what look to be explosives or other deadly materials.

- Scott's dad calls home when the dealer asks for an extra 50 grand, and Ahmed immediately answers the phone. What was he going to say if the caller wasn't Scott's dad? Admittedly, he looks at the phone for the caller ID for a millisecond, but it seems pretty unlikely that he knows the dealer's number, or that it's even listed, for that matter.

- After Fayed's man dies, the pieces are put together a little too fast, and are way too tenuous, even for 24: The destroyed computer happens to have enough information on it for Assad to be able to read the type of the bomb, which Nadia happens to have heard of, and of which all were destroyed except for one, apparently, which was rumored to belong to a guy whose name no one knows, but who they happen to have a single picture of, and who Assad happens to recognize AND know the name of.

- Fayed is able to plant a traitorous guard at Palmdale, but unable to free a terrorist being kept there without this incredibly elaborate plan that is prone to failure?

Day 6, 7 AM - 8 AM (Episode 2)

- After not talking for 2 years, Jack regains the ability to talk loudly within an hour. (I know, I know, he's JACK BAUER!)

- The guy with the transponder in Assad's house that was working for Fayed decided to carry the transponder in his pockets instead of planting it in the house somewhere, or at least concealing it someplace less obvious. (Shoe, belt, etc.) For that matter, if they know the address and could tell it to Fayed, why did they even need a transponder? Clearly, they don't move THAT often.

- Assad's house is somehow heat-shielded so CTU can't see inside? It certainly didn't look that sophisticated. CTU has been able to see inside much more robust-looking buildings in the past. (Like the Chinese Embassy.) And, referring to the previous point, if it is heat-shielded through some sophisticated building technology, it's further proof that Assad can't really be moving around that much, and an address would be perfectly sufficient.

- If Fayed's good enough to plant a mole on Assad's team, does he really need the US military to take out Assad? Couldn't Fayed's mole just plant a bomb, or sacrifice himself in order to kill Assad? He certainly had the chance.

- The "How do you like them apples" dude from Good Will Hunting is the FBI agent that wants the Islamic-American Alliance's files! And "Rube" from Major League 2 is the neighbor Stan that wants to kill Kumar from "Harold and Kumar go to White Castle"!

- Chloe and Morris, despite jeopardizing a mission that was likely the government's only chance to save hundreds or even thousands of American lives, are not fired because they can't spare the manpower. Maybe Chloe's earned enough points for her past actions, but Morris? He's not replaceable? Is there anything they could actually do to get fired? What if it turned out they were working for the terrorists? I still kinda think that Buchanan would be forced to keep them on in a "limited capacity".

- CTU can get observational satellites into position in a matter of seconds, but only decided to look at the missile target site AFTER they didn't find Assad, not as soon as they got the coordinates.

- Fayed's mole overheard Fayed telling his men to go to "Figaro and 6th" after Assad was killed. How long ago was this? How long ago has the mole been working with Assad? Does he go back and forth to give status reports? One doesn't tell people to go to "Figaro and 6th" months from now...

- IAA's lawyer, Sandra Palmer, has permissions to move or delete all of the IAA's personnel files.

- Fayed's mole doesn't say how long after Assad's death the men would be at Figaro and 6th, but it turns out to be exactly at the moment Jack and Assad arrive.

- Apparently Fayed's hit 11 different cities in 11 weeks, yet decides that he's going to have two strikes in Los Angeles within a couple hours of each other, and also he's going to stay in Los Angeles while this is going on. (Although the second one is actually in 3 cities at once.)

- Chloe alerts Bill to a call that was "red tagged" by the NSA's surveillance software: Fayed's man who accompanied the subway bomber calling to tell Fayed that the bomb didn't go off. They talk on normal, unencrypted cell phones? If so, this is the first call they've ever had intercepted?

- Assad is clearly a pretty important person in his organization, yet he's willing to go any try and hunt down Fayed himself? That seems pretty unlikely.

- Wayne Palmer and Karen Hayes doubt Jack with regards to Assad, and then learn that Jack was right. Of course, we can assume that for the rest of the season, they'll never doubt Jack's loyalty or accuracy again, right? Especially Wayne, who has every reason to trust Jack entirely.

Day 6, 6 AM - 7 AM (Episode 1)

- The President decides to pay China "a lot" in order to get Jack Bauer and then give him up again because a known terrorist claims that he knows the location of a bigger terrorist, and they're really, really desperate.

- The President has yet again chosen a Cabinet member who is going to undermine him at every possibility, but will not get fired.

- Chloe is able to blackmail Nadia in 5 seconds with the information that she left the "Janis firewall open", even though telling Chloe about Jack is clearly an even worse offense and comes very close to ruining what seems to be the Government's only chance to stop the terrorist attacks.

- Abu Fayed's men have the keys to CTU handcuffs. (Buchanan seems to produce them from his own belt, and never drops the keys for the men to pick up.)

- Someone in the White House actually cares about the Constitution. (Ha! Ok, I'll lay off the politics for now.)

- Fayed tells Jack his whole plan for no reason, when he just as easily could have told him enough to make him think he'd die for no reason, but not the whole deal regarding killing Assad.

Welcome to "24 Stupidity", the blog that painstakingly chronicles the numbskullery that "24" has become. Normally, we kid because we love, but in this case, it's more of love-gone-bad, where one party decided to drink a bottle of dishwashing liquid and constantly blow bubbles instead of whispering sweet nothings. Ok, maybe that's a tortured metaphor...but not as tortured as poor Jack Bauer, or this segue.

I've watched every episode of "24". Back when TiVos only had 30 hours of recording capability, and BitTorrent was just a waiting to be a lawsuit waiting to happen, I would record every episode to VHS. Season 1 (Jack has to protect David Palmer, his wife, and daughter) was revolutionary, and Season 2 (Nuclear terrorism in LA) was some fantastic television. Season 3 (Jack is an undercover junkie) started slipping a bit, but it was probably around Season 4 (I can't even remember the main plot point here) where they really lost me. Season 5 was an exercise in absurdity, even though it won an Emmy and Entertainment Weekly (and others) couldn't stop fawning over it. Season 6 is starting off on a very similar note. Twists and turns have become ends unto themselves, instead of being part of a bigger picture. People act in ways that are transparently idiotic. Hey, it's hard to come up with new ways to save the world, or new reasons why Jack is the only one who can infiltrate the terrorist group this time. And, seriously, what do you have to do to get a job at CTU? Just check the box that says "I am not a terrorist"?

Why do I continue to watch? Like an abused spouse, I'm convinced that given one more chance, "24" can turn it around. Jack hits because he loves, see? But I'm not above pointing out his flaws. Maybe, if I show him his litany of mistakes, he'll see the errors of his ways. And if not, well, I was probably asking for it anyways.

I'm going to do my best to chronicle this Season. (If it goes well, maybe I'll go back to previous seasons.) I'm going to note things that just seem flat-out stupid - where characters act illogically or in a manner not in their best interest. Often, they'll reveal a twist that invalidates everything certain characters have done previously. Now, I'm going to try to give Jack the benefit of the doubt. If he dispatches 4 battle-hardened ex-Marines in 40 seconds while his entire torso has been numbed by electrodes attached to his spine, well, that's Jack Bauer and he's awesome. Or if it takes him 5 minutes to drive 100 miles, well, that nonsense is chronicled here. I'm definitely open to suggestions, too - if I miss something, please post in the comments.

Here goes nothing!

P.S. Jack, if you're reading, I didn't mean nuthin' by it. Please, take me back! Ow! I'm sorry...