Welcome to "24 Stupidity", the blog that painstakingly chronicles the numbskullery that "24" has become. Normally, we kid because we love, but in this case, it's more of love-gone-bad, where one party decided to drink a bottle of dishwashing liquid and constantly blow bubbles instead of whispering sweet nothings. Ok, maybe that's a tortured metaphor...but not as tortured as poor Jack Bauer, or this segue.
I've watched every episode of "24". Back when TiVos only had 30 hours of recording capability, and BitTorrent was just a waiting to be a lawsuit waiting to happen, I would record every episode to VHS. Season 1 (Jack has to protect David Palmer, his wife, and daughter) was revolutionary, and Season 2 (Nuclear terrorism in LA) was some fantastic television. Season 3 (Jack is an undercover junkie) started slipping a bit, but it was probably around Season 4 (I can't even remember the main plot point here) where they really lost me. Season 5 was an exercise in absurdity, even though it won an Emmy and Entertainment Weekly (and others) couldn't stop fawning over it. Season 6 is starting off on a very similar note. Twists and turns have become ends unto themselves, instead of being part of a bigger picture. People act in ways that are transparently idiotic. Hey, it's hard to come up with new ways to save the world, or new reasons why Jack is the only one who can infiltrate the terrorist group this time. And, seriously, what do you have to do to get a job at CTU? Just check the box that says "I am not a terrorist"?
Why do I continue to watch? Like an abused spouse, I'm convinced that given one more chance, "24" can turn it around. Jack hits because he loves, see? But I'm not above pointing out his flaws. Maybe, if I show him his litany of mistakes, he'll see the errors of his ways. And if not, well, I was probably asking for it anyways.
I'm going to do my best to chronicle this Season. (If it goes well, maybe I'll go back to previous seasons.) I'm going to note things that just seem flat-out stupid - where characters act illogically or in a manner not in their best interest. Often, they'll reveal a twist that invalidates everything certain characters have done previously. Now, I'm going to try to give Jack the benefit of the doubt. If he dispatches 4 battle-hardened ex-Marines in 40 seconds while his entire torso has been numbed by electrodes attached to his spine, well, that's Jack Bauer and he's awesome. Or if it takes him 5 minutes to drive 100 miles, well, that nonsense is chronicled here. I'm definitely open to suggestions, too - if I miss something, please post in the comments.
Here goes nothing!
P.S. Jack, if you're reading, I didn't mean nuthin' by it. Please, take me back! Ow! I'm sorry...
I've watched every episode of "24". Back when TiVos only had 30 hours of recording capability, and BitTorrent was just a waiting to be a lawsuit waiting to happen, I would record every episode to VHS. Season 1 (Jack has to protect David Palmer, his wife, and daughter) was revolutionary, and Season 2 (Nuclear terrorism in LA) was some fantastic television. Season 3 (Jack is an undercover junkie) started slipping a bit, but it was probably around Season 4 (I can't even remember the main plot point here) where they really lost me. Season 5 was an exercise in absurdity, even though it won an Emmy and Entertainment Weekly (and others) couldn't stop fawning over it. Season 6 is starting off on a very similar note. Twists and turns have become ends unto themselves, instead of being part of a bigger picture. People act in ways that are transparently idiotic. Hey, it's hard to come up with new ways to save the world, or new reasons why Jack is the only one who can infiltrate the terrorist group this time. And, seriously, what do you have to do to get a job at CTU? Just check the box that says "I am not a terrorist"?
Why do I continue to watch? Like an abused spouse, I'm convinced that given one more chance, "24" can turn it around. Jack hits because he loves, see? But I'm not above pointing out his flaws. Maybe, if I show him his litany of mistakes, he'll see the errors of his ways. And if not, well, I was probably asking for it anyways.
I'm going to do my best to chronicle this Season. (If it goes well, maybe I'll go back to previous seasons.) I'm going to note things that just seem flat-out stupid - where characters act illogically or in a manner not in their best interest. Often, they'll reveal a twist that invalidates everything certain characters have done previously. Now, I'm going to try to give Jack the benefit of the doubt. If he dispatches 4 battle-hardened ex-Marines in 40 seconds while his entire torso has been numbed by electrodes attached to his spine, well, that's Jack Bauer and he's awesome. Or if it takes him 5 minutes to drive 100 miles, well, that nonsense is chronicled here. I'm definitely open to suggestions, too - if I miss something, please post in the comments.
Here goes nothing!
P.S. Jack, if you're reading, I didn't mean nuthin' by it. Please, take me back! Ow! I'm sorry...
posted by Dave at 10:39:00 PM
4 Comments:
Good Luck & God Speed!
I am going to volunteer to be:
#1. The self-proclaimed litmus test to your concept of stupidity. I feel i have the proper credentials for this role as I am very familiar with stupidity and I think the anagram "smut-li" would be a good pseudonym or alter/ego for me
#2. The worst speller practitioner of the written english language on this blog.
I appreciate your being a litmus test. I can use more, and am open to suggestions. What the hell is "smut-li"? Is that like "Muttly", the cartoon character? Like "Chun-Li", the Street Fighter hottie? You've lost me, but I prefer to think of you as a Chinese prostitute.
You know how to make a chinese prostitue happy. Awe shucks! I bet you've heard that before. I'll help you out here
L I T M U S = S M U T L I
Smut-Li love you long time for $5. $2 if you Jack Bauer. Besides, I thought that "Smut-Li" went well with "Big Sexy". I'm goin' for a theme here, man!
Ah. Of course. I think you've been reading too much Harry Potter!
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